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Jan 27

Revising Critical Statements

A question to a writer is called a query. The term is also used to refer to all comments from the editor to the writer. In phrasing your queries, write directly and courteously, and avoid evaluative statements, especially when the evaluations are negative. Chapter Two gives proven strategies for effective editorial feedback.

Think of ways to revise these statements to encourage productive revision – you will have to invent specific details.

  • The style seems too sophisticated for the intended readers. You’ve used too many abstractions, long sentences, and confusing words.
  • Third-person style and passive voice are inappropriate in instructions because they make readers think someone else is supposed to act.
  • These sentences are awkward.
  • The whole section of the report is unclear.
  • The brochure is poorly organized. Why would you put the main objectives of the training session half way through the document?
  • It’s impossible to tell why the project you propose is important.