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Mar 05

Style Exercise: Revising Wordy Sentences

Exercise 13.7 (page 236)

  1. I think my outdated computer, which is five years old, needs to be replaced by a new one that is much faster.
  2. The new intern has a very nice personality and is attractive and everyone seems to be drawn to him.
  3. Due to the fact that that many writers use a lot of jargon when they write, a workshop will be held Tuesday for the benefit of our writers and editors so they can address this issue in a timely manner.
  4. My managing editor says she wants to go back to writing for the magazine she used to write for in Paris before she had this job because she misses the challenges that job called on her to perform.
  5. As many people who read carefully are aware, statistics can often be manipulated to conform to a writer’s agenda, and many times can be just plain nonsense. For example, to say that 50% of the legal marriages that occurred during the past 30 years included women is laughable and even flawed. Or, to say that a person who graduated number 50 in a class of 100 people graduated in the bottom 50% of the class instead of the top 50% of the class is to put a spin on the that person’s class ranking.